If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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