And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
All I want is dick and wine.
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