therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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