This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
