i wish peter jackson would direct porn
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
