My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
