apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
