a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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