i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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