im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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