so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
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