Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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