C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
