Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
