My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
