Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
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