I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Everything about him screamed your future.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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