party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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