She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize