Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(515): View more from Iowa

does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine

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(214): View more from Texas

Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.

Fav 5 1778 767
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(619): View more from California

pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.

Fav 34 2278 4892
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(818): View more from California

Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.

Fav 13 6075 1473
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(520): View more from Arizona

Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.

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(850): View more from Florida

My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.

Fav 10 782 1477
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(785): View more from Kansas

Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process

Fav 4 770 506
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(303): View more from Colorado

jump out the window naked night went bad

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