The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
