can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Randomize