I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
