i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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