i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
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