You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize
