i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
