I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
