omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize