thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize