Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Randomize
