Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
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