She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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