this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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