I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Randomize