You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize