just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize