my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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