Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
