i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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