used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
You are a genius and a whore.
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