I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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