..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
