I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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