I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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