Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
