I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
