Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
