well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I just want to make out with him forever
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
