would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
