Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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