Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
