Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
