i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
