then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
