What a fucking waste of an outfit
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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