yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
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