im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
