I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
