I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize