They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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