i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
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