How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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