Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
