I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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