we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
