I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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