I just pynch a tree in the face
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
