Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
So gin and wine won't be happening again
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Randomize
