i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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