The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
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